


Dandelion

by lovely_clouds



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Holidays, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 14:00:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5588824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovely_clouds/pseuds/lovely_clouds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Christmas Eve in the Mellark(or Everdeen?) household. Katniss and Peeta spend the day with each other, from picking nicknames for the baby to a picnic in the chilly woods. It's a day full of ups and downs for a pregnant Katniss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dandelion

A/N: This is set when Katniss is a few months pregnant with their first child. 

 

I wake up from a nightmare-less sleep. I've been having less nightmares lately, but they still make appearances. I roll over to face Peeta in the bed, still soundly sleeping. The sunlight spilling in through the window makes his features seem like they're made from gold. I stare at him for what seems like an hour, just admiring his face. He stirs and opens his eyes and they instantly light up when he notices me looking back at him.

"Good morning." I tell him.

"Good morning. Your face is the best thing to wake up to on Christmas morning." He says, his voice a sleepy whisper. Even after all these years of being married, I never get over how his sweet comments make feel.

"Yours isn't so bad either." I whisper back to him. We kiss for a moment and then Peeta pulls back.

"How are you feelings so far?" He asks, his eyes glancing down at my stomach.

"I'm fine, but... I'm really craving cheese buns right now." I say, smiling at him and pleading with my eyes a little, a silent question for him to make me some. After all these years, I still haven't learned how to make them so they don't turn out either burned or just plain gross. You'd think it'd be simple, just make the bread and put cheese on it but I still manage to screw it up. Only Peeta knows how to make them taste amazing and lately he's been put to work as I've been having cravings for them day and night.

"Ugh, okay. You're so needy, y'know that? Cheese buns should've been your Christmas present." He says, smiling. He gets up from the bed and before he leaves he kisses me and I can feel his smile on my lips.

"You mean they're not? Didn't you read my Christmas list?" I say feigning a surprised look. He laughs and walks out of the room. As he leaves I curl up in the bed, the cold from the outside now present without a warm body next to me.

I absentmindedly rub the little baby bump that's appeared recently. A shiver runs down my back, but it's not from the cold weather outside. My fears of having children haven't disappeared over time, although my reason has. The games still haunt me all these years, in my nightmares and in my real life. The fears that used to prevent me from having children years ago, that they could be reaped and all I would be able to do is stand by and watch them die or that they would have to starve and survive like I had to.

No, I wouldn't have done that to any child. But it's different now. That looming threat is gone. But there are other fears, natural fears. What if I'm a terrible mother, what if my maternal instincts don't kick in when there's danger and something happens to them?

I get up from the bed, leaving the warmth of the bed and the terrible thoughts to go find Peeta so that his presence may comfort me. I put on a soft red sweater and wrap a blanket around myself. I walk down the hallway and turn left into the kitchen. I see Peeta dividing the dough into separate pieces, pressing his thumb into the middle, putting cheese in the indent and wrapping the rest of the dough around it. He gets three done before he notices me leaning against the doorway, with my arms lightly crossed. He looks up at me and smiles.

"What are you doing out of bed?" He asks, continuing to work on the cheese buns.

"Just wanted to see you face" I say, sitting down in a stool near the counter where he's making the treats. I feel a little guilty about not telling him the real reason I got out of bed, even though seeing his face is a bonus. "And I keep having negative thoughts about having the baby. Which is stupid because I'm already pregnant and it's a thing that's happening and there's isn't a huge threat anymore like it was before, we just have to give it a loving home, but my fears just won't go away and..." I realize I rambled and stop abruptly.

"And I just wanted to be around you. Because you comfort me." I remember a time when I wasn't so open about my feelings, but Peeta can always bring it out in me. He goes around the counter and hugs me from behind, resting his chin lightly on my head.

"It's okay to be scared Katniss, okay? We're bringing a new person into the world and gonna be responsible for how they turn out and how they are in the world. That can be pretty terrifying," He turns the stool so we can make eye contact without straining our necks and presses his forehead softly against mine, "But Katniss, I have faith in us. In you. That you'll be an amazing mother to the baby and that they'll grow up being so loved that it fills every inch of them. Okay? And I glad you told me what was really bothering you." I feel extremely grateful that I have Peeta, who throughout the years has always know what to say. I don't know how to express my gratitude so I just lean over and place a gentle kiss on his lips. He sits in a stool next to me and reaches over to grab my hand and plays with it.

"But we should stop calling our baby 'it', don't you think?" He asks, smiling.

"What should we call them then? We don't know if it's a boy or girl." I say. Picking a name now runs the risks that the name won't suit them when they're born.

"We could pick a nickname, something to call them while you're pregnant with them. My parents told me that they called me 'Bun' when my mom was pregnant, because y'know, they were bakers. What about that?"

"I don't know. Bun? That sounds too cheesy to me. We might as well should announce our pregnancy by putting a loaf of bread in the oven with a note that says I'm pregnant." I say letting a smile break through my face.

"It's not too bad of a nickname, but I want something more original. Something cute."

"Well Dr. Asril gave me a chart that shows how big the baby is each week by comparing it to a type of fruit and has a little more info about development. Maybe something will help from there? I'll go get it from the room." Peeta says and gets up. I get up and sit on the couch that's in the living room, in front of the fireplace and Christmas tree. I try to imagine what it will be like next Christmas, with a baby crawling (or walking? I don't know, I really should get to reading those books Dr. Asril gave me) around. I realize that this is the last Christmas that it'll only be Peeta and me, and it terrifies me, yes, but a bigger part of me is excited to meet the baby and spend time with them. To be a family.  
I hear Peeta coming out of the bedroom and down the hallway. He comes to sit next to me on the couch, both of us snuggling into each other.

"Oh, I remember this chart." I say grabbing ahold of it to read the words.

"It says that at Week 13 the baby is the size of a peach, vocal cords are starting to develop, and their fingertips have fingerprints" I say. Peach could be something cute, but maybe not on its own. And the vocal cords and fingertips tidbit could be something cute if we think hard enough.

"Any ideas?" Peeta says. I bit my lip, thinking.

"How about we just spout out ideas and see what we like."

"Okay. Peaches? Tips? Oh! How about Harmony?"

"Peaches and Harmony are a maybe and Tips is a definite no." I say.

"Well, I want to give it a name that's singing inspired because the baby just might inherit your singing voice. I can already imagine you teaching him or her songs." Peeta says, smiling and intertwining our hands. I kiss his check. I try imagining it too and it brings a small smile to my face.

"Okay, um, what about Ballad, Wavy," I say, wiggling my fingers, "Or Sweet Peach?"

"I'm not sure on the others, but I like Ballad. It sounds sweet." Peeta says.

"So it's between Harmony, Peaches, and Ballad." We spend a moment considering each of them, thinking about which one sounds more appealing to us.

"How about I go take a shower and we think about it and regroup to figure it out, hmm?" Peeta says.

"Sure, we'll make a whole pros and cons list for all the names." I say jokingly. Peeta gets up and goes to the room to get clothes and then goes into the bathroom. I get up and take the cheese buns out of the oven, almost burning my mouth because I was too impatient to wait for one to cool before eating it.

I decide to make breakfast, which will be eggs (no bacon, the smell of cooking meat sends me running to the bathroom to vomit), toast, and to make it festive, I'm gonna try to make pancakes in the shape of ornaments. I mash up strawberries and put them into the pancake batter, then try to make a circle on the hot griddle. After twenty minutes I've successfully made 10 small "ornament" shaped pancakes that are red and blue (by mashing blueberries). After that I cook the eggs and make the toast and in no time the meal is assembled. I put out two plates for me and Peeta and then serve two cups of eggnog as well.

Just in time, Peeta walks out of the room, his hair freshly washed and in a soft red sweater, almost matching mine. He comes over and kisses me on the check and we both sit across from one another at the table in the kitchen.

"So which one do you like the most?" Peeta said. I take my time to consider this: Ballad is cute, but it sounds a bit too 'stiff' so I think that one's out. Peaches is so adorable and Harmony reminds me of two people singing together to make something wonderful, which ultimately reminds me of me and Peeta. I'm still stumped, but decide on the one I like the most. 

"I like Peaches, it's sweet, adorable, short, and simple." I say.

"Very true. So Peaches it is?" Peeta asks.

"Yes, it is." I say, smiling at him. It's not any progress on the actual baby name but it is something to call this thing that's growing inside of me. We finish eating breakfast and talk to each other about anything, everything. After breakfast, we do some chores around the house. It's after we've cleaned the house that I suggest we have a stroll in the woods and maybe a picnic to go along.

"But Katniss, It's freezing out there." Peeta says as we sit next to each other on the couch. He was flipping through the channels on the television, trying to find a Christmas movie to watch, but surprisingly, nothing was popping up.

"But it's not even snowing and we have jackets to bundle ourselves with." I counter back. The woods seem very tempting right now, the fresh air and to have something to do. We have a sort of staring contest, which is how we mostly resolve our little disputes. Eventually he breaks eye contact and breaks a smile.

"Okay, fine, Katniss, you broke me. I'll pack the picnic basket and you can get the blanket. And make sure to bundle up so you and Peaches," Peeta faces lights up when he uses the baby's nickname, "Aren't too cold." We set off to do our tasks.

In fifteen minutes Peeta's got a basket filled with the cheese buns he made earlier, sandwiches, gingerbreads, four bottles of water, and two bottles of eggnog as a treat. I have the quilt we use whenever we have a picnic, which is an assortment of blue fabrics sewn together. Finally we walk out the house and I put my free hand in Peeta's. Both of us are bundled in our winter jackets and boots. Peeta's wearing a gray beanie and matching gloves, while I'm wearing a dark green beanie and scarf. We walk for about 3o minutes, just talking and having fun with each other.

After a while, we decide to rest and set up our picnic area near a big tree. Even with the sun out and no snow, the chill in the air is freezing. Peeta leans back on the trunk of the tree and I lean into him, putting my head under his chin and he wraps his arms around me. We sit in silence for a moment before Peeta speaks.

"I really wish I would've thought to bring hot chocolate, I don't know how it got past me." Peeta says. I can feel him shivering and his teeth chattering. I snuggle up to him the most I can with our jackets.

"Oh, It's alright, we can just keep each other warm." I say , smiling up at him. He kisses my forehead and I lay my head back down in his chest. I feel his fingers play with my hair and I become even more relaxed than I was already. The cold bothers me a bit but Peeta's more sensitive to it, and in no time our shared body heat has him falling asleep. Although, I lay awake, just making little swirls in his shirt and I'm suddenly reminded of our first games all those years ago, when Peeta and me were in the cave, starving and taking care of a sick and injured Peeta. 

That thought brings a whole new wave of new ones, ones I would be content about never having to remember and before I realized it, I'm getting up and getting up away from the horrible thoughts. I feel bad about taking away my body heat from Peeta so I wrap the quilt around him and I just sit in the grass. I bring the basket to me, my hunger getting the best of me. I take out one of the bottles of eggnog and 3 cheese buns and eat them while watching Peeta peacefully asleep, snoring softly. After practically devouring the cheese buns, I decide to get one of the sandwiches. I'm starting to get ansty just sitting there and get up to walk around a bit. I make sure to not go too far that I can no longer see Peeta. 

The walks makes me think more about the baby. How will be to have another person around me, to officially be a family? How they act, what morals they'll have, and how they view the world will depend on how me and Peeta raise them and that is a huge responsibility. But Peeta is so ready to be a father, I bet he's been waiting to be one since he was a little boy. I, on the other hand, haven't considered the thought until I knew that the world that I would be bringing them into wouldn't mean their possible death by starvation or being killed on national television. I don't know if I could be a good mom. But something that makes me consider that I could be is Prim. I basically took on the maternal role when my our father died and our mother shut herself off from the world in her grief. Prim. Sweet, little Prim with a face as fresh as a raindrop. Who I couldn't, didn't, save. Who, along with many other people, aren't here to celebrate the holidays with. Like my father. Peeta's family. Madge. Finnick. No, I have to stop thinking about this, all these negative thoughts and feelings can't be good for the baby. I decide to head back to Peeta.

I see Peeta still sleeping, and on his chest is a dandelion, most likely brought by the wind. I stare at it, again, brought back to old times, to when I saw that first dandelion in the spring. I go over and gently pick it up, looking at it for a minute before putting it safely away in the pocket of my jacket. As I go to sit next to Peeta, he stirs for a moment and realizes I'm not by his side like I was when he fell asleep. He looks over to his left and sees me sitting up.

"What are you doing over there?" He says, burrowing his grow and rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Oh, I just went for a small walk. I just got back and sat down next to you. I'm sorry if I woke you." I say.

"It's alright, I was getting hungry anyway." Peeta says, getting up and pulling the basket in front of us.

"I already ate a sandwich and a couple of cheese buns before my walk but I could always go for more." I say, reaching into the basket and pulling out a handful of the cheese buns. We eat and relax for a while before heading back home. By the time we get there, it's almost dark. We put everything back in their places and clean up a bit more. I decide to take a shower to clean up and when I get out Peeta has finally found a Christmas movie that's showing, which is A Christmas Carol.

"Yes! Oh, I'm gonna go make hot chocolate so we can enjoy it in the Christmas spirit." Peeta says, kissing me before heading into the kitchen.

I watch the beginning of the movie, and I just can't put off the thoughts anymore. My feeling of incompetence of becoming a mother, my sadness over Prim, and just the stress of Peaches all bubble up and before I know it, I feel tears falling on my cheek. I try to dry them up before Peeta comes back but to no avail. He sees me and sets down the two mugs full of hot chocolate and whipped cream.

"Katniss, what's wrong?" He asks gently, coming over and wiping the tears off my cheeks.

"It's nothing, maybe it's just my hormones going crazy." I say, trying for a laugh, which might've been convincing if I wasn't crying, and failing.

"What's making you upset? You can tell me, y'know" He says. He starts rubbing my back in circles, which soothes me enough to be able to speak.

"It's just that... I feel like I'm not going to be enough for the baby. For Peaches," I start to rub my baby bump. "I know we had this conversation this morning and all but I can't stop thinking about how I might not be maternal or motherly enough and it's making me so upset and I just wish I knew if I was gonna be enough for them." My voice has gone a bit squeaky at the end because of my crying. Peeta envelopes me in a hug and buries his face in my hair. I feel him take a breath in and he starts talking in my ear.  
"Katniss, I want you to hear everything I'm going to say. You are gonna be a fantastic mother and love Peaches so much that they'll be filled with it to the tips of their fingers. I mean, just remember how good you were with Prim. You two were practically inseparable back in Twelve. And in the games you took little Rue under your wing and took care if her too, so even if you don't see how protective and caring you are, Peaches will." Peeta says. But that's it. Both Prim and Rue are dead. I may not be the direct cause of their death but I didn't protect them as well as should have. I'm not as hard on myself, usually, about their deaths but lately I haven't been able to shake the feelings that I didn't do enough. I take a shaky breath.  
"But Peeta, both of them are dead, they're not here to spend christmas with us and it's killing me inside and I just wonder how I could've gotten them out of harm's way. That was the other reason I was crying." I say.  
"Katniss, you can't blame yourself. You did everything you could but those terrible things happened. But you could honor their memory by telling Peaches all about them. And we could show them the book, right? Tell them of all the amazing people who helped fight for the world we live in now. I bet they'll love seeing all of those pictures." He says, sitting down next to me on the couch.

"That's because you're drawings are amazingly." I say, but I've stopped crying and let a smile break through.

"And even if we make mistakes, when we make mistakes, we'll learn from them," Peeta now puts an arm around me, "Together, as a team." He says rocking me side to side softly. He gives me one more hug and kisses me. I cuddle up to him on the couch. I can still feel my dried tears when Peeta goes to take a sip from his his chocolate and realizes they've gone cold.

"Ah, looks like I gotta go reheat these, I'll be back in a minute, sweetie." Peeta says, quickly giving me a kiss on the side of my forehead before he leaves.

I sit on the couch for a moment before I get too cold and decide to go turn on the fireplace that's placed in the middle of the Christmas tree and the television. I sit there for a moment then I decide to lay down next to it, too impatient to wait for the heat to reach the couch. I pull the blanket that was on the couch towards me so that I can wrap myself in it. I try to watch the movie that Peeta was very excited to see, which I realize I kinda ruined by my little breakdown, but before I know it, my eyes are slowly dropping. I see Peeta come back into the living room and lay down next to me.

"I ruined our movie time." I say turning so that I can face him.

"Ah, it's alright, I'm sure they'll show it again tomorrow, and I'd rather spend time with you." He says. So we just lay there, near the fireplace. Before I slip into sleep, though, I remember about the dandelion in my pocket and take it out. I admire it for a while before speaking.

"Peeta, what if we call the baby 'Dandelion' instead?" I say, my voice soft and still a bit high from my crying.

"What? Where did that come from?" He asks curiously. I bring up the dandelion and lay it on his chest, mimicking how I found it back in the woods.

"I saw this while we were in the woods when you were taking a nap, it laid on your chest like this. It just reminds me of hope, of seeing it and knowing I'll be able to feed my family. And it reminds me of you. I just feel like picking a name, well a nickname, that has meaning to me. And as cute as Peaches is, Dandelion seems like the right choice to me." I say, staring and twirling the dandelion in my hand.

"Sure, it sounds like amazing and has a good reasoning. Maybe you should be in control of the whole official naming process as well, looks like you're good at it." He says, smiling down at me.

"Well, I am giving birth to them, so I feel like my opinion already had a bit more leverage." I say to tease him.

"Well, you got me there." He says as he snuggles into me. And as very cried out Katniss, I fall asleep snuggled in Peeta's arms with Dandelion in the "middle" technically. My last thought before I fall asleep is that I'm very excited to see what next year will be like and to met Dandelion. 

A/N: I hope you liked it! Any constructive criticism is welcomed! This is my first story/fanfiction I've ever written AND published so I'm sorry if it's too OOC or not festive enough!


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